File Size: 659 KB
Print Length: 244 pages
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers (June 15, 2010)
Publication Date: June 15, 2010
I was identified with Autism Spectrum Disorder after the DSM-V turned out. If I had been diagnosed during the DSM-IV period, the diagnosis would have been Asperger's. Seems battling to clarify my analysis and how it impacts me to parents and friends, and I noticed that this book was highly recommended so I thought I would give it a try. This guide did not plainly communicate its targeted audience, so I thought that it might appeal to both teen girls and adult women on the spectrum. Really I would say the only audience that might benefit from reading this book would be lately diagnosed 11- to 13-year-old girls and their parents. In this article are some of my problems with the publication:
- It is written in a very childlike voice, in very simple terms. This is good for people with an elementary/middle school reading level. This is not really geared toward an audience of highly intelligent and spoken autistic young adults--which is ironic, because a good portion of the publication talks about how motivated and intelligent Aspies are generally. From times it comes across as condescending. I would never give this publication to my mother to see because the " Suggestions to Parents" sections are sometimes written in the same kind of condescending/coddling tone, and fails to tackle neurotypical parents in ways that are more accessible to them *as neurotypicals*--which I think is actually essential for books like this. The particular whole point, I thought, is to bridge the gap between those on the autism spectrum and those who aren't...?
- At some point it posits that individuals with Asperger's might be psychic. This also espouses reiki, chi, and other similar Brand new Age beliefs, including a section that talks about Aspergirls to be gifts from God. The book will not market itself as being religious or Modern age, but this is very important to mention, as readers might not have these same beliefs.
- The writer has a tendency to generalize her own experience to all Aspies and, despite input from several different autistic women, neglects to acknowledge the dissimilarities in presentation along the entirety of the autism spectrum. For example, the lady perseverates onto her assertion that Aspies are " emotionally immature. " Perhaps the lady was emotionally immature, but I don't assume that is an necessary aspect of the autistic condition. I've actually had my neurotypical mom tell me things like, " you're far more emotionally mature at 26 than I was. " Somebody who spends a lot of time learning and self-reflecting can actually have a *better* handle on themselves and their issues than others do. That won't make the social skills deficits go away--in truth, it can actually throw them in sharp relief. The book fails to really address the underlying causes of social skills deficits, etc., which is unfortunate. Another example is her insistence that all girls on the range struggle with selective mutism. That will has never been a problem of mine, altho' I have struggled with slurred speech and stuttering, something that she relegates to the male side of the spectrum.
- Further to that... while I definitely agree that men and women on the spectrum typically present in vastly various ways, the lady fails to properly admit the overlap between apparent " male" and " female" presentations of autism--actually, come to think of it, she fails to really explore this matter at ALL, other than a little in the appendices. I do feel that my interpersonal skills are better in general than that of my autistic male peers because I was groomed and trained to be more social by society, since women are supposed to be the social ones. But I am not vulnerable to crying meltdowns, and I do stutter. Moreover, I have male friends with a more " female" Aspie presentation profile. What I would have liked to see is for her to possess done a more thorough compare-and-contrast between the various gendered delivering presentations, with an acknowledgement of the overlaps as well, rather than relegating all that to the very again of the book.
- Actually, you know what, in general the author has some very sadly stereotypical views of men and women. The girl does not question society's division of traits into " masculine" and " feminine" and does not acknowledge that stereotypes are stereotypes, but rather treats them like rules or laws of nature...
- The particular book does not acknowledge that some Aspergirls might not be straight. Some women might not want to romance a man! This specific book was published in 2010. It really should know better than this.
- The personal anecdotes were a nice touch but I think they were handled poorly. They made an appearance at random and the quotes were sometimes very starkly divorced from their original context. I would have liked to see the text organized better. I also feel that the writer could have used some more hard data to again up her statements at times.
- Another thing... at a certain point the writer says something to the effect of, it is important to never criticize an Aspergirl. I assume that this is terrible advice. EVERYONE, autistic, neurotypical, and everything in-between, needs to be taught how to accept constructive criticism and utilize it to develop and better themselves. People should also learn how to graciously deal with negative criticism--how to develop a thicker skin and block out haters and trolls and bullies when they are doing rear their unsightly heads. I really know what it's want to be super very sensitive and take criticism very hard. But I utilize it to grow and be an improved person (and, in regards to being an aspiring artist/writer/poet, I've learned to *thrive* on criticism, as without it I would never be able to improve my fine art! ). I wonder what kind of constructive suggestions Simone had on this publication and this writing project. Did she have an editor help her cut things out, increase the first few drafts, make it better? Or did the lady have someone coddle her and hold her palm through the complete project and say that every phrase she wrote was rare metal? I would hope it was your former. That's what writers need in order to become better writers. I think telling parents to shield their kids from criticism is very dangerous advice. (Of course, it is important for parents not to be judgmental and critical toward their children, that is a different concept altogether from never offering any constructive critique or advice. )
This review is getting really long so I'm gonna cut it off here. *Unless* you're a middle-school woman (or the parent of any middle-school girl) who was JUST diagnosed and is aware NOTHING about autism, and who believes or is available to spiritual/New Age products, and who is completely straight and believes in gender roles, then you'll want to skip on this book for sure., This does it’s job: a simple yet effective intro about being a woman on the actual edge of the spectrum. Helped myself to understand all earlier times misdiagnosing. I could have done minus the ripping on the American healthcare system. Insurance was never intended to pay for office visits and most good mental health professionals do not accept it although you may have it. I used to ask therapists if they would work beside me on a sliding scale. Absolutely nothing in life is free lady. Also, she says on-page 187 that she’d win the Nobel Reward if she found a way to prevent meltdowns... well here ya go (and you will keep that Stockholm piece of crap): Dialectical Behavior Therapy. This won’t happen overnight and practice and mindfulness, but I do it and haven’t had a meltdown in some time. But since most DBT therapists do not accept insurance, then Rudy is out of fortune as it sounds like the lady hates going out of pocket for her medical expenses., I cannot thank Rudy enough for this amazing publication. After 37 years of feeling as an alien on this planet, like a chameleon trying to fit in but never quite controlling it, I finally know why-- I'm an Aspergirl. This guide is brilliant at showing how aspergers manifests itself very differently in women than in men. Never have I read a book before together my jaw drop open so many times for writing my exact ideas! This is such a compassionate and empowering read. She even has a section in each chapter aimed at parents to help their daughters. Regarding me personally though, there are so few publications out there for the adult Aspie, and even fewer for the woman Aspie. This and her 22 Things a Woman with Aspergers wants her partner to know are fantastic. Thank you Rudy!!!, An eye-opening read I suggest for anyone who is curious about Aspbergers in women, wanting to know themselves a little better, or help a loved one understand herself better. Not only for GIRLS! But certainly, covers a lot of the nuances women have to deal with Over discovering themselves and perhaps recognizing some Autistic traits/tendencies in the beginning. *Why did I not already really know what " Stimming" was? I would have been delighted and possibly scared-off at the commonalities between Rudy or her subjects in the publication had I found Aspergirls 10 years ago. I am happy I found it now when I'm older and able to identify objectively some traits about myself. Definitely going to read and purchase more by Ms. Rudy Simone., I needed this. Really helpful. How I wish I had this we were young. I know many aspergirls conserve much distress with the help of this book and if you can get parents and others to read it you won't have to expain youself (as if we could). And yes, we are not the same as the males., This is not the book that a graduate student would read for "intellectual stimulation" (to some of the reviews), but this is the go-to resource for confused women like me. This book plainly and concisely states the dissimilarities between females and males on the higher functioning end of the Autism Spectrum. I could not see myself as a person with Aspergers because the feminine representation was not available, and am just could not relate to the male examples. I feel eternally grateful for this book. Thank you Simone., I found this publication inspiring. I found out a year ago - once i was 43 - i had Asperger's. It was a really difficult diagnosis to accept initially. This was the first book recommended to me after my diagnosis. It puts the realities of this condition into purposeful, straightforward realities. It inspires the neuroatypical to accept and adopt their dissimilarities and clarifies why women with Asperger's are the way our company is. I highly recommend it and hope that other neurodiverse women find it as helpful as I did.
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